God damn it!

A question is cropped up!

Is that due to pride and vanity that I do not believe in the existence of an omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient God? Though it doesn’t make any sense whatever i say but these days as people have started taken me a little bit seriously, I should make my stand clear. This question is, I suppose, is inclined to conclude from the brief acquaintanceship they had with me, that it was too much on my part to deny the very existence of God and that I am suffering from the vanity and my mind is polluted by success (as some/most of the people believe that getting some fucking rank in some sort of competition is success.).

I deny the very sort of almighty God existence. I’ll advance my arguments later on. Here, I want to admit that it not vanity that has actuated my dis-belief and made me adopt the doctrine of atheism. Why should I have the vanity, I am not a super-being, supreme, neither a rival nor an incarnation. I must disprove this allegation. My atheism is not old. I started disbelieving in God and abhorring religion when I was obscure young man, sort of a “world class looser”, on which his classmates used to pass comments like rural-bumpkin, whose existence was not even noticed by the beggars on railway platform. Whose ability was even doubted by his mother, his father and his brothers ( I don’t have a sister.. :-( ). I have never been a studious or laborious kind but committed towards my dreams. My kind of sophomore can not cherish any kind of sort of undue pride which may lead him to atheism. Though favorite of my engineering Math and engineering drawing teachers, I was always disliked and hated by other teachers. In my dept, the highest qualified and most experienced teacher, Prof. Dr. R. Thirumalai told me in transducer lab, ‘You could be bad, but your are the worst.” A student who can not utter a single English sentence that time, though I always take pride my intermediate marks in Literature Hindi but hardly it could be the matter of pride outside my intermediate school, can not suffer from vanity especially in India whether your english is more important than your math or physics . I was rather a boy with a shy nature, who had certain pessimistic dispositions about his future career. And those days I was not a perfect atheist. My mother, under whose influence I was brought up used to fast almost 3 days in a week and everyday offers prayer. I was the only child in my village who, since the age of 4 till he passed 12th standard that is the age of 15 and a half, used to wake up in morning and after taking bath ( believe me it didn’t matter if it was June or December, or I was fine or sick.), used to offer prayers in near by temple. That is also a irony, people in my village ascribe my success to my childhood worship and me, after developing total atheism got some sort of THING which most of the people call success. So when the seed of atheism is sown? it was a article that moved me highly. I didn’t have any argument to oppose his arguments. Then I think I should study. I began to study. After the improvement in my English, I started enjoying philosophy, more then the transducers and classical feedback control theory about which my room mate used to call me “control man”.

I believe (till now) that when you don’t have direct logic, then only you should turn to philosophy. Avoid philosophy as long as possible. There is very high danger that you might pick up very wrong philosophy depending on your logical abilities and your learning capabilities from observations. Don’t look for philosophy every time until the temptation to feel something is more than to know it. It is highly dangerous. Philosophy, as I believe, is the result of the weakness of human logical nature. There is almost every kind of philosophy present, confronting each other. You can justify any cause, any action, any any thing. When our ancestors have the leisure enough to try to solve the mystery of this world, its why and how, they were lacking direct proof, hence philosophy was born. Over the time it ossified into human mind as instincts and prejuidices and entrenched there. Though there are wide differences in the fundamentals of philosophies, even in a single hemisphere, just like religions, people are stick to them. They know both of them have nothing to offer other than a false sense of soothing nature, empathy, and above all and unfortunately, a belief to condone your wrongdoings invoking philosophy and religion.

Before going to argue about God, lets talk about religions which I dislike the most after Himmesh Reshamiya nasal singing. Well, we all know that the intentions of all religions are fair but the way they are executed have created the havoc around the globe. In India, take Gujrat pogroms, of internationally, say conflict in Somaliya, Chad, Rwanda are just a name of few. I believe that just to control the ordinary people from doing misadventures or PAAP they were made to fear the concept of God whose doctrine were set by religions. Nice concept, but unfortunately, it gives the power in some hands like churchs, Mosques, Temples, Akal Takht etc. To keep the power intact of privileged one rules were modified, and being modified. And we are so blind!

My previous faith underwent a remarkable change. Now my religion is Agnostic, I need a reason to believe. No more blind faith. The romance with violent faith were cut sort replaced by soothing Libertinism. Realism is my cult now. That what the people are calling vanity. The most important things in life are the clear conceptions of the ideals about which you would like to confront the whole world. After joining IIT, I got a very pleasing opportunity to study the various philosophies of various thinkers like Marx, Lenin, Trotsky, Derrida, Kristera, Lacan, Vivekanada, Premchand, Oskar Wilde…. Most of them were atheist. I studied Ramanujam, who in the later part of his life accepted that he did not believe in the existence of God. Dirac, on of my favorite physician was also agnostic/atheist. By the starting of 2006, I have convinced myself as to the baseless-ness of the theory that an almighty God has an existence creating, guiding, and controlling the universe. I have given out the very disbelief of mine, now I am a pronounced atheist. Religion is a very bad thing, it should leave unconditionally. Later we may miss it but in its current form, it is destroying the unity, debilitating the humanity.

Now, let me put my argument. Judgement is already well too known so I’ll try not to invoke philosophy here, only logic, otherwise you may say, “if you want to prove something wrong you will prove it anyhow with all the philosophies around.”

A Hindu might be expecting to reborn like a king or like a Prime Minister ( of course not like Manmohan Singh), a Muslim or a Christian might dream of luxuries to be enjoyed in paradise and the rewards for his suffering and scarifies -I do not have any idea about other religions ideologies so let me restrict myself within these boundaries. That would be enough- What am I to expect? After my last breath that will be my last moment, to be more precise, my soul as interpreted in metaphysical terminology shall all be finished there. A life of little bit of struggle, little bit of success, some tiny moments of happiness, and some wonderful memories to cherish, with no magnificent end shall in itself be a reward, if I have the courage, the valour to take it like that. Given the circumstances, My belief in God would have made my life easier, my burden lighter, and my disbelief in him would turn all the circumstances too rough, at least there would be somebody on Who I can put all the blame and walk away happily without hurting myself in anyway. But I don’t want the help of any intoxication to meet my fate. I don’t want my instincts to overpower my reasons. I am a realist and I am trying my best to perfect myself in that way. Though “I am whatever you say I am” for you but for me, I am a realist or trying to be one. I have not always been successful in accomplishing these ends. “But man duty to try and endeavour, success depends upon circumstances and environments,” golden words of Bhagat Singh.

There is an almighty, omnipotent and omnipresent God, who created this universe, please let me know why he created this universe? This world of woes and miseries, eternal combination of torture, murders, numberless tradegies: Not a single soul is perfectly satisfied. Don’t say its His law.If he is bound by any law, he is not omnipotent. He is just like you and me, another slave like ourselves. I am highly disillusioned that how could it be possible if God exists there is lot of injustice prevailing. Oh, don’t say He enjoys it. George W Bush is enjoying things in Iraq, Nero burnt down one Rome and to his enjoyment killed limited number of people, watch the movie “Gladiator”, see what people did for enjoyment. Do I need to write about Aurangjzeb and Chanjezkhan. Pages have been blacked with invectives diatribes condemning Nero, the tyrant, the heartless, the wicked. One Changezkhan killed a few thousands of people to seek pleasure in it and I abhor his very name. Then How will you justify your almighty, an eternal Nero, creating tragedies every second surpassing Changez every moment. Why did he create this world- a veritable hell, a place of constant and bitter unrest? Why did he create Man when he has all the power NOT doing so? Just to enjoy his tragedies. How mean and heartless could He be? Ok justice will prevail at last, that the innocent gets the justice at last! Would you forgive me if I dare to inflict wounds on your body and later try to put ointment on it.

My room mates used to warn me, don’t say bad words about God, He will hit you hard. Does your God seek vengeance? Oh! Plz don’t say yes. Then is worse then some the human beings. And if he just don’t care what you are doing, how much sense does it make to believe in someone who don’t even exists in your world.

Millions has died in Wars across the globe and still dying in the name of war against terror in Iraq, in tha name religion and caste as ethical cleansing in Somaliya, Rwanda, Kashmir; in the name of revolution by LTTE, Naxals, Bodo, and a lot of others. Hardly a second is passed in which a innocent soul is NOT tortures, murdered, devastated by means of the most inhuman ways. Why did He create such an animal, just to enjoy HIS art. What kind of asshole would He be Who enjoy tragedies. There are lot of pleasing things to enjoy, what could be more enjoying watching every soul prosper to its full extent enjoying innocently the gifts of nature.

You Mohammadans and Christians, I ask you what is your answer for the above mentioned questions. You don’t believe in previous birth so you cannot advance the argument of previous misdoings, like Hindus, as a reason of these sufferings. I ask you, why did your omnipotent God take 6 days to create this world and each day to say ‘all was well”? Call him today, you don’t have balance, use my mobile, show him the past history. Make him study the present and lets see if He dares to say – “All is Well”.

From the dungeons of prisons, from the stores of starvation consuming millions upon millions of human beings in slums and huts, from the exploited labourers, from the views of farmers committing suicide, patiently or say apathetically watching the procedure of their blood is being sucked by the capitalist vampires, and the utter wastage of human energy that makes my common sense shiver with horror, let Him see all of this and let him say, “All is well”. Why and wherefore? You are silent. Alright then I proceed.

Well, You Hindus, you say all the present sufferers belong to the class of previous birth. Good, and present oppressors were saintly people in their previous birth. In “Godan”, Premchand also criticize this issue. Let me admit that your ancestor were very shrewd people, they tried out every possible option to make you victim of their conformity, hammered down all the efforts of reason and disbeliefs. If in your previous birth you were offenders, what kind of punishment God inflicted on us. The punishment must me reformative so one can return back to the society as most of the competent and peace-loving citizen. Pain and suffering for the misdoings can be Jungle law, it can’t be the Law of God. Don’t quote you Purans, I have no scope of touching your methodologies. The greatest sin in this world is being poor. It’s a punishment. It is the root of all sin and misdoings. I ask you how far would you appreciate a jurist, a criminologist or a legislature who propose such measure of punishment which shall inevitably force men to commit more offences? Had not your God thought about it. Why doesn’t He remove all the poverty and famine from this world? Why don’t He change the mind of Warlords? Why does not your omnipresent and omnipotent God stop every human beings from committing any sin or offence? Not to mention the caste atrocities, just somebody is born in a certain strata of society how much disrespect one is put under again and again. He is hated and shunned by his fellow human beings who think themselves to be superior having been born in, say, a higher caste. His ignorance, his poverty, his broken self-esteem and the treatment meted out to him shall hardened his heart toward the society. Suppose he commits the sin. Who is responsible, the God who made him born in such a caste, he or the learned one of the society. These theories are the inventions of the privileged ones to justify their usurp powers, riches and superiority by the help of these theories.

Let your almighty bring the order in this world, if he does so I’ll believe in his existence. I don’t feel him in any way. The philosophy of His existence is just like the philosophy of existence of ghosts and evils though much advanced. There is no logic, all philosophies. As Schrodinger have shown that you can not be certain about the present state then simply you can not determine the future in any way. There is no fate, no luck, all is governed by the rules of nature. Rule hidden to be explored, crying so somebody can pay heed to them. Wasting time on philosophy makes no sense to me these days. Philosophy is good when you don’t have a direct logic but beware not to pick up something very wrong, just like we have chosen to believe in God and religion without any logic. I appreciate the intention behind these philosophies but intentions were taken aback. Your God, Is he enjoying all the woes of human race? A Changez, A Nero, Down with Him.

I am trying hard to overcome this word “GOD” illusion. Sporadically, i hurt myself whenever i utter this word ” Oh! God” . it shows the weakness of me, that my instints has overthrown my reasons, my belief. But i am trying my best and one day i might say, “Yes, I am a perfect agnostic.” Wish me all the very best. I respect what you believe, please do the same with me. If you want to prove I am wrong. Please advance your logical argument. I’ll be highly grateful to you. :-)

Thanks…

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Author: Dilawar

Graduate Student at National Center for Biological Sciences, Bangalore.

1 thought on “God damn it!”

  1. well, I do believe in god, but definitely the idea is not governed by any particular religion. I cant prove you wrong because you did not prove anything as well. But I shall say a few words about why I do have faith. when its about science, you start by asking the question “why”, followed by “why’ again and again.This is how you dig deep.But where does it take you? It takes you to some basic laws, you cant question.And then comes the existense of faith. for example, an object is falling.You ask a question, “why is it falling?” Dig deep and find out that it is gravity that is making it happen.So you end up getting the law of gravity.Now let me ask, why does this law have to be like this? Why is the law not reverse? Why cant the things go up? Why is the earth or for that matter any object attract the other? Why does the gravity not repell? You will say it is the law. Then comes the role of idea or concepts. Did someone want it to be like this? So that the sun could hold the earth and the earth its moon? Anyway, there are so many things to say but there is one more point. There were scientists who were believers also.Newton was a believer, so was your favourite feynmann , but definitely not in the usual sense. Next time i’ll post feynmann’s finest comments on creation and physics and their interrelation.

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