Me as a student.. a little bit of soul searching wont hurt ! :-)

Its April 25, 2008… 2320 hrs IST…IIT bombay elec. dept. PC lab…………..

Semester is over and holidays are around. Feeling free today!! Most of my friends have left Mumbai by now or will leave is a day or two. I have to be here till may 22. These days I am loving math and realising why they say “Ignorance is bliss”… more you know and you have a curious mind.. u are doomed!! cant remain normal. it just not natural.

Ok! lets track back to the primary school days.. those days were the most remarkable of all.. I love government school primary system… till class 3 you have only 3 buks.. in 4 they are 5 and in fifth class, u get 7 buks to study.. very thin.. very less work.. njoy!! Sri Shivprakash Sharma was the teacher then, he is a wonderful man.. a teacher with a vision.. he indirectly shaped me in certain ways.. I loved our library there.. that was a small one.. have only about 200 buks.. i read them all in less then a week.. generally all the money which comes for the school development was eaten by the corrupt headman and his puppets. Who give a damn to education but buks were useless to them, however i appreciate that they did not sell it as “trash” just for some more money or may be Shivprakash Sir did not let them to do so. Those five years, i used to be perfect student.. just like IIT logo says “gyanam parmam dhayeyam”.. no stupid competition, no forced expectation.. what else you can ask from a society.. fortunately, in my family there was a strong appreciation for education rather than marks or “training” which i am getting today. those were remarkable days. I still have my all buks and notebuks preserved!! :-)

then came high school.. first time, expectation arose, competition began! Those were the nasty days.. I lived only three moments mostly.. one read according to the syllabus, dont doubt, didnt get something – mug up!! In other word it is called preparing for exams. second write the exams.. it didnt hurt much, that was only 3 hours.. though it feels like Nazi concentration camp these days but it was ok then.. children are not so critical!! third wait for results and do nothing.. pathetic!! in one you do mindless labour or i’d say “intellectual child labour” which gives you a knowledge which same so many patches and holes that the wonderful ideas which are generally liquid just cant stay in there, leave alone being developed! SECOND,it is not a long time, only 3 hours.. ok.. THIRD is results which gives you superficial and stupid pride in your abilities..

upto intermediate I continued in the same way. only positive point was i never took any kind of coaching, i study all the things by myself, otherwise things would be worse by now! nyway.. after a break engineering started. after a year or so i just stopped worrying about curriculum and exams.. if u get in to a bad college that is the good thing,, u can pass the stupid courses even u do nothing.. hehehe..

i have realised that learning is tough, unlearning something bad or wrong u have learned is tougher but realizing it is the toughest… the good things is the things are getting clearer now.. [:)]

on the other hand I am getting very much self indulgent, dreaming about all the good things to come and enjoy them daydreaming.. i feel really good.. time will tell if it is good or bad!

Sometimes One has dreams which only one can see. generally, people try to take it away or hinder it unintentionally, u see, any system does not appreciate different approach, it creates trouble for entities in authority and none gives a damn about individuals. Ok, lot of whining!! Everyone feels it at some point or other. These dreams gives satisfaction, success and values may not ensue. One retaliate if being suppressed.. loose one’s energy and starts loving solitude.. I am lucky in that way.. Prof Sharma understands it! He just give me precautions.. like.. “make it look like related with engineering” “tumhara external examiner tumhari watt laga dega”.. When it comes to routine exams, watt to lagni hai meri, i know.. :-)

its lunch time.. gotta go.. my rummate is waiting for the lan..

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Author: Dilawar

Graduate Student at National Center for Biological Sciences, Bangalore.

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