Number matters.. .

Some randomnesss about numbers. 

Never forget to confess few mistakes of your life in the openings of your novel. Mostly mistakes, if they are committed by successful people, have to be three. Whether they are Bush war policies, Darwin’s mistakes on his voyage, or Obama’s mistakes on Health care system in US. In some of the religion 3 is symbol of satan. Interestingly Google Finance does not produce any results if you search plain  “mistake” since no stick is named like that (I somehow found it interesting). If your are talking about wonders or adventure use 7 or 11.  If you are a programmer and loves random number, than you know why should you avoid asking people number and making a table of them and calling it random number. Donald Knuth spend a significant time to warn you that people love picking up 3, 7, and 11. May be that is why mistakes and idiots have to be three while wonders, adventures, and sins had to be 7. Few awesome personality could be coded like 007. Even the most crappy OS is named after it (Windows 7) whose saner version I am using right away in cyber cafe. And ya if the font size of your name on the cover of your book equals to the IQ of a genious then its a bestseller. That is 140 pts or bigger font size!! 

Lets get to other things, Any economists will tell you the real importance of number and how should you use them (A banker will only worry about the decimal place and needs that much of education only. That why all the stud on the wall streets are either ‘drops out’ or ‘five.someone’.).

Numbers are important in research also. Every now and then they tell you that eat this and that to avoid this and that diseases. After six month they will say no dont eat this and that to avoid this and that. Basically, there sponsors write their research reports and ask them to prove it somehow using some numbers. They do it really well. THERE ARE SOME STATS WHICH SAYS THAT 99% STATS ARE MADE UP! (That’s goes like a joke in mathematical circle).

There will be no discussion about numbers without a mention of our beloved ‘0’. Never try to underestimate the power of using ‘zero’. Indians loves this ‘zero’ way too much. After its invention, We are hell bent on adding this in the ‘fundamental knowledge’ of this world. Ofcourse I am undermining Indians. What you want to say, “We had Ramanujan, and ……..ummmm…………….. some Indian born American who gives ……………..ammm .. who won some Nobel prize…” Ya but you are not absolutely right. We have much more than that. Not to the fundamentals but after the independence, we did enough to the needs of this nation. ISRO remote sensing satellite deserves nothing less a Nobel. No no giving this would be dishonoring it. Or DRDO embedded system technologies, or CSIR material science research. TIFR contribution to ‘string theory’ and ‘mathematics’. IISc contribution towards ‘technology of national development’. Not to mention ISI contribution towards providing statistics and building mathematics in India and IITs to develop themselves as brand which by the way could be a good PR scam. Ooops, I said it again. Now there will be backlash. Criticizing and Defending IITs are fashionable. Chetan had made it and now he even trying it to make it ‘a school of thought’. He still writes about them in TOI. Interestingly the timing and the titles of his articles rhymes well with market. If “three idiots’ is being released this week then the article is ‘Indian institutes of idiots’. Never mind inside is same old story how much He is in pain and government is doing nothing. Told ya his marketing team tells from taking data from google trends that now our readers wants to hear something bad about our educational systems and this should be the style, your last style did not receive that much reader or else our best stenographer (they call then journalist inside their premises) will write it using your name. You’ll get your paycheck! What you think? Inside IITs we criticize it way too much, more that this Chetan dude could ever imagine but somehow we get angry when an outsiders dare to criticize. We simply tell them “Fuck off man, get a life!”. Somehow just like someone girlfriend/boyfriend, IITs has becomes a part of our identity. We can not allow others to criticize her/him no matter how we dislike her/him. And inside IIT also its the same story. A  M. Tech (matka) (I am not so proud ‘matka’ cause the number I got in my salary is not up the number which are expected from a ‘stud/machau’ matka!) can not criticise a B. Tech. (Batka/Bhatka) ideas of IITs. or even his/her distant cousins DD- Dual Degree (duddas) . They will tell him/her the same things but rather politly. A phd will get the same response from M. Techs. Haha, Ph.D. is a very poor creature in IITs. First of all he suffers from the same syndrome by which all of market-fundamentlist suffers. It is known as TINA syndrom. TINA = There Is No Alternative. This name is not known inside IITs. Most of them are market worshiper, who would like to understand something if His/Her future salarey depends on not understanding it. Anyway, it goes like “(S)he had nothing else to do so (s)he came for Ph. D.” But the truth is, that it is true in almost all the cases. Its not like resources or the poorly paid scholarships its just out great Indian idea of ‘scholarships’. Few are of course exceptions and they are not going to read it anyway. Anyway, Its not easy to make ‘identities’, may be another blog on ‘identity crisis in IITs’ some other day. I know it wouldn’t be good for my health but sure my profile view will increase. A little price to pay. Number matters! Anyway sane Proferssor over there are not worried about there paypackages as TOI makes you believe it but its that IITs no longer producing professors, least the scholars. But things are much better than highly branded US system. Dare you say, “Gyanam Pramam Dharmah”, Fuck off dude, get a life!

Back to numbers, we have seen Copenhagen, how obscenely they used numbers the way Windows use numbers to tell you how much time is left in installation. 5 minutes somehow passed in 15 seconds. Sometimes 15 seconds remains 15 even after 2 minutes. Long live relativity or some space-time curvature kind of funda. Windows is so close to discover time travel. Anyway, Now we are left with disaster. if anyone is reading this after the disaster for somehow some humans have survived the disaster, I  regret that I liked the idea of predatory markets and had the big plan for myself at the cost of yours well being. But you can forgive me since I am a farmer by birth. I grew my own food. My contribution towards this would be one of the least. I will try to do my best to delay the disaster. I do care about next generation. People over there tried to convince other that climate is not about numbers only. Ha! what a crime against science. Fuck off man, get a life!

After Godel incompleteness theorems, its getting harder to trust numbers or axiomatic mathematics to be honest and precise. Wiles proof of Reimann conjecture gave some hopes about that one day we could fathom the numbers and their way to behave. But that dude used computer and left the bigger problem of analytical solution for someone else. Primes have been a pain in our ass for so long time, bigger pain than a single electron who keep proving that he is smarter that 6 billion people and keep laughing at our face! They build a string theory but…..if you know the story…

It’s been a war of numbers all along. People are fighting over it arguing if in India 33% or 75% people are poor. or if x or y number of farmers have committed suicides. Whether railway profit is ‘n’ or ‘m’. Or whether temperature will rise by 1 degree or 3 degree.. But whichever number will win, thanks to The Great Indians wit, ‘Zero’ will always survive. We have given to this world which can not be destroyed no matter how much they try to kill it. Its the ‘zero’ which will gonna live if other numbers will keep fighting. Its not pretty number. Its the ruthless one and the most cunning. Neither it is beautiful nor cute.


dilawar
Ganga Market, Sec 37 , NOIDA
Some Cyber Cafe in which the guy sitting right to me is wondering what the hell i am typing so fast and the the pc on the left is unoccupied and running.
Todays sin : logged in to windows!! Begging for forgiveness.

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Author: Dilawar

Graduate Student at National Center for Biological Sciences, Bangalore.

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